After a rainy night, the garden is refreshed so early in the morning.
One of my most irksome habits is taking advantage of the garden, and frequently passing through it without really seeing it: places to be, people to meet, things to take care of.
Still, I recognize my "being busy" as a form of laziness..it seems easier to rush from activity to activity, because then I feel useful, purposeful, needed, wanted and indispensable, as if my worth depends on it.
But I have to ask myself, Does it? Is my worth predicated on how much I get done? By how much I can accomplish in 24 hours?
As a Buddhist, I know intellectually that all sentient (and yes, insentient) beings have intrinsic value.
It's not about "having and doing", yet these habits are ingrained since birth, and bolstered over and over again by societal norms and expectations. Resting in awareness, for example, is not rewarded in school...in fact you're often sent to the principal for just "being"!
Does this mean there is a time and a place for just being? Once you have begun cultivating mindful openness, is there ever a time it should be turned off, like turning off a lamp when leaving a room? And is it even possible to do so, even if you wanted to?
Isn't it an experiential truth, one we all begin to discover, that once the heart-mind begins to open, there really is no going back to a state closed-ness?
I actually think the body can not go back to being closed. Maybe on a cellular level the body recognizes the ultimate benefit of remaining fresh and aware.
Sometimes I'm hit with the full weight of beauty, smack in the face so to speak. My mind and body is in tune with whatever the moment brings.
There are many moments like this in the garden because it's truly spectacular. You would have to be sleepwalking not to notice, and yes, that is a habit state I often find myself inhabiting. It's not necessarily comforting, it's always boring, and yet it's often the default mode.
But the default mode is shifting....
One of the wonderful secrets of beginning to awaken is that we become of less use in a conventional sense.
The practice continually points this out and creates "a formless field of benefaction" where being is simply the space itself.
And here is where the Bodhisattva can do her work.
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| Breathing Flower ll |
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| Rain Buddha |
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| 5:30 a.m., walking with my head in the sky |
But I have to ask myself, Does it? Is my worth predicated on how much I get done? By how much I can accomplish in 24 hours?
As a Buddhist, I know intellectually that all sentient (and yes, insentient) beings have intrinsic value.
It's not about "having and doing", yet these habits are ingrained since birth, and bolstered over and over again by societal norms and expectations. Resting in awareness, for example, is not rewarded in school...in fact you're often sent to the principal for just "being"!
Does this mean there is a time and a place for just being? Once you have begun cultivating mindful openness, is there ever a time it should be turned off, like turning off a lamp when leaving a room? And is it even possible to do so, even if you wanted to?
Isn't it an experiential truth, one we all begin to discover, that once the heart-mind begins to open, there really is no going back to a state closed-ness?
I actually think the body can not go back to being closed. Maybe on a cellular level the body recognizes the ultimate benefit of remaining fresh and aware.
Sometimes I'm hit with the full weight of beauty, smack in the face so to speak. My mind and body is in tune with whatever the moment brings.
There are many moments like this in the garden because it's truly spectacular. You would have to be sleepwalking not to notice, and yes, that is a habit state I often find myself inhabiting. It's not necessarily comforting, it's always boring, and yet it's often the default mode.
But the default mode is shifting....
One of the wonderful secrets of beginning to awaken is that we become of less use in a conventional sense.
The practice continually points this out and creates "a formless field of benefaction" where being is simply the space itself.
And here is where the Bodhisattva can do her work.
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